Pride Is Forever in Mii Form

As demonstrated here, I've been spending WAY too much time playing around with this cool flash app. But it's so much freakin' fun making these Mii's of your friends and it helps when the brain can only do some much after a long night of imbibing.

To help determine who they are, each person is linked to an NFL player that matches their style of play.

In order from right to left.......

• Row 1: Ray Lewis+Todd Heap, Jay Novacek, Matt Birk+John Gruden
  
• Row 2: Michael Strahan, Dave Meggett
  
• Row 3: Keyshawn Johnson, Mark Brunell****, Asian Pop Star+Rod Woodson
• Row 4: Brian Urlacher+Chris Cooley, Steve Largent

****Please note: Mark Brunell in his prime (i.e. Jacksonville days as Pro Bowler), not as a backup with the Redskins.

P.I.F. in The Animal Kingdom, Part I

Creature of night, preys/SMS on mice or men







Cunning, sly, and red





Crazy, creative, and crane-like







Needs to be in physical therapy 24/7





Runs high, runs straight, is straight






100 mph/hour, only stops for underpants





Relentless, playful (i.e. will play with anybody), has sick athletics in DNA






Industrious, organized, mature beyond years

P.I.F. in the Animal Kingdom, Part II

Pretty, diva, likes his feathers ruffled







Regal and white, has seen better days







Brawny, independent






Plays cymbals, jovial, funny









Can command respek sometimes, owns his domain, bear or mole?






Youthful, no fear, let's it hang all out

Gimp Herm As Fatty Jedi Knight or Evil Pope

So my "friends" have a funny way of expressing their sympathy for my recent injury. Actually, it's pretty freakin' hilarious and will go down as one of the year's best Photoshop works. Not because it's a super technical creative but because it's so bad/simple, it's good. Pure genius.

Check out my square head cut-and-paste on the Pope turned to the dark side (e. g. anti-Christ black robe) or as I say a very "healthy" Jedi Knight who had a few too many Ding Dongs and is now relegated to mind tricks and his motorized personal vehicle.

Compliments to the artist: Mike Dean.

Pride Dominates 34-18 in Season Opener, Grim Reaper Claims Another Body Part

This past Sunday was the 2006 summer season opener for Pride is Forever against NWA. A glorious, summer day it was ... sunny, cloudless and a warm 90 degrees on the field turf. With my collarbone feeling good (i.e. no feeling/limitation), I was ready to return to the field at 100% since my exit five weeks ago.

Without our current starters, PIF had to reallocate skill positions a bit. I moved to QB, Brian Z moved to the #4 spot and our sub Joe moved to #5. The ladies stayed in the same spots: Kellyn, Maggie, and Nicole. It was a tremendous performance by everyone, I mean everyone. Every single person made a big play or several big plays.

I'd have to single out the ladies collectively for MVP where they had the biggest impact on our play. Throughout the game, I was able to find them readily open after going through my progressions. Specifically, when the #1 or #2 receivers were logjammed in the secondary, the ladies always moved to the open space where they became easy dump offs. It was key to pick up those extra yards and completions to create future open plays by hitting the ladies. Props to Nicole for the outs, Maggie on the sweet TD catch, and Kellyn for running the turnarounds. I did have a couple blatant overthrows/picks which were mental mistakes - I tried to rush things too quickly and didn't set up properly.

Defensively, we were on lockdown with exception to two broken long plays. The score should have been 34-6. Nonetheless, we had some big INT's that kept the offense on the field and which were critical to running down the clock towards the end of the game. Mike D stepped up like Charles Woodson on a pick at right corner, as did Brian Z for a deep corner pass, and the ESPN play of the game ... think Chris Berman shouting "Whoop! She could go all the way!" where Kellyn shifted back as linebacker, plucked the errant ball from the sky, and made a b-line to the left corner of the endzone. On that play, the door to victory was slammed shut for NWA. Actually, it was shut aways back but that was simply the dot on the exclamation point.

One disappointing event in the 1st half. It happened on my QB scramble to the endzone where I made a hard cut on my left knee and tweaked it (pop sound I felt). After that point, I had to play on one leg and could not move laterally. I felt like Byron Leftwich in that Akron Marshall game where he played with a broken fibia. Somewhat dramatic I know. Cool thing was that it forced me to play more strategically, not relying on my legs to get out of sticky situations. I had to shift around the pocket like a big brown bear (think Dan Marino or Big Ben) looking for the quick throw downfield. I can dream, right?

Anyway, looks like I am out for at least 3-4 weeks before I return to any gait-like activity. Lots of RICE these days (not the white Asian kind but the gimp kind) lieing on the couch while sporting a cane minus the top hat around town. According to my physical therapist friend, I likely have a Grade II medial collateral ligament sprain (MCL). It's not actually that bad of an injury given that the ligament does regenerate and 98% of athletes incurring the injury return to their normal form. Yes, the Grim Reaper has cast another dark cloud over my summer plans.

Looks like my guitar calls me back after my departure from my clavicle mishap. Nope, you won't be finding me on the field anytime soon, but maybe at Zoka strumming my acoustic for all the Java heads and tree huggers.

Ah, life goes on.

PIF Reunites for Post Season Bash at Dojo

Like my mama used to say, "When you throw some bad eggs together, it's a recipe for some bad food." She didn't really say that but I needed an opening.

Our captain and CAO, Mike D (not of the Beastie Boys but of the average guy walking down the street kind), hosted Friday's post season soiree for Pride is Forever. It was an evening to pat ourselves on the back for being mediocre: finishing in 4th place out of a 13 team league. Yes, all of our moms are bragging about this as we speak. More importantly though, it was an opportunity to "acknowledge" the various contributions made by individual team members.

One observation. When I walked into the Dojo, I was taken aback. Where were the posters of the Bud Light girls? The dirty socks hanging from the drawer? The leftover pizza boxes? Oh, quite the contraire. Mike D's crib is Yuppified with a capital Y. A sophisticate of the 21st century. What toys a young, single, educated white male might possess, he does. There's the 40+ inch flat screen TV, next to that is a very prominent long and skinny wooden (and tall, 5 ft +) sculpture procured from an African tribe on the plains of the Serengenti while hunting mani-eating lions for sport (how's that for a story). In addition, there's the Miami Vice/Beach frescoes on the wall (art lover), a monster 3 burner stainless steel grill, and a hot tub just big enough for three (with built-in Crystal coolers). I'm pretty sure the bearskin rug is hidden in the closet for those uber special moments. Welcome to the Dojo my friends.

Back to the story.

The all-important awards ceremony, the highlight of the night. Unless you're on the team, you won't get these or find them remotely funny. That really doesn't matter given that my readership consists ONLY of the team (& Heather) anyways and they only read my blog because I spam them with a weekly email campaign that promises them a rev share on ad revenue.

(Drum roll)

In no particular order of course. The shining stars and what shined so bright...

• Wind Beneath My Wings Award - Alison (Certificate of Achievement for being the loudest screamer on sidelines, includes the Microsoft mascot, the Butterfly)
• "Look at his Eyes" and Whiteboard Award - Adam (Sunglasses and pad/pens to prevent opposing defenses from knowing where the ball is going)
• OldTimer Award - Johnny (Geriatric Giftbag of Ben Gay and Geritol to keep everything in check)
• Flav a Flav Award - John (Clock and Pad to make games on-time)
• "Let's Look Like I Belong Here (i.e. not Panhandling on Street Corner)" Award -Maggie (Sunglass case and cords to keep glasses intact and on face)
• "I'm Young and Can Drink" Award - Nicole (State-of-the-Art Beer Bong for the only person that would use it on a regular basis; compliments of OldTimer)
• Special Ball for Special Kids Award - Mike D (Very Large Blow Up Football for Ages Four and under, to work on ball catching in the off season)
• Twinkle Toes Award - Kellyn (Ballerina shoes (or Kilo of Coke) for strong toes when performing double feet hop move and maintaining sick athletics in blood; compliments of Senor Tintle, the Blow King of Seattle)
• Little Football with Nicole's Deep Thoughts Award - Debbie (ask Nicole)
• Cuervo Especial Award - Matt Krueger (Bottle of Tequila for his namesake play)
• Jared the Subway Guy Award - Jamie (Subway card for three 6-inch turkey subs with all the toppings, compliments of Dean's leftover Subway points)
• Enough of Your Stupid Blog, Here's a Personal Diary Award - Herman (Paper Diary so he can keep his deep thoughts to himself and Extreme DDR for off season rehab)

After our awards, the group needed to kickstart the tryptophanal lull brought on by the meat dishes (burgs, brats, etc.), Deb's famous pasta, and guac & chips. (I'm questioning the use of that tryptophan adjective).

In response, Sensei Dean barked orders for team shots. I became the makeshift bartender - throwing whatever liquor, juice, and ice lay on the counter into a blender for some ungodly concoctions.

We then made full use of Nicole's award as the beer bong went around the room. To my dismay, I disgraced my alma mater by regurgitating the last few inches of foam that came through the funnel. I think it's somewhere fermenting on Mike's ceiling. Yes, my brethren in Hanover would not have been proud and my degree is temporarily in suspension. Whatever. Actually, I was more bummed out that I got beer on my new designer shirt. J/k, not really.

Anyhow, we then took the partay to Capitol Hill at the Baltic Room where the DJ played old school hip hop and laid down some pretty nifty beats. The scene was a bit younger and more Asiany. My peeps, not really.

So the drinks continued to flow and then Dean starts to think he's the star of Hustle & Flow, "rapping" to all the songs with Aggie gang signs ablazing. Notice rapping in quotes.

Towards the end of the night, Debbie has a close encounter of the darker kind. Clearly, she was shaking her junks enough to pique the interest of this younger male. Not sure if digits were exchanged, so you'll have to get the details from her. Anyhow, we end up shutting down the Baltic Room at the 'break of dawn' (2 am in Seattle). Thus, ending another PIF night.

One final note, we did have one fallen soldier who was unable to participate in the festivities. While the airline gods were not in her favor, we did keep her anima-tensity with us throughout the night. Kellyn, you'll be happy to know you were in our thoughts as we got housed. We'll just have to dominate the summer league, claim the title, and make Vegas the next spot for PIF banquet. I'm thinking Ghost Bar at The Palms.

PIF is Not Destiny's Child

In Saturday's semi-final playoffs, Beyonce, Kelly Knowles and Jay-Z were not in the house (aka stadium) to take the 5th seeded Pride is Forever ("PIF") to the promised land: a tattoo on Mike D's rear. PIF is self-described as a motley crue of Microsofties and others of similar nerdiness.

The team played valiantly, played together (as always, "can we all have a group hug?"), and hung tight through both games. It just wasn't our day....

One good thing: With outstanding play, our captain, GM, and CAO (Chief Administrative Officer), Mike D, has solidified the final roster spot for PIF's 2006 Fall season. There was fear amongst the ranks that his value add (administrative duties) could be outsourced to a third party. When PIF dialed in a 911, Mike D stepped up his game and made Wayne Chrebet wish he hadn't retired. The 5'10 caucasian male from Texas went deep in the middle and made several big time catches in traffic. Stupefied on the sidelines, we watched the ball bobble a few times like a hot potato and then fall into the new mitts of receiver Dean. He even showed his 4.9 speed going an extra 8-10 yards. Glad to have you back on the team, Mike D!

Second good thing: I did end up fulfilling a lifelong dream of living a day in the life of Steve-O and Chris Pontius from Jackass and Wild Boyz. In other words, I decided to play in the first game against #1 seed Yo Mamas with my 2 week old fractured clavicle. The thought was that I'd play offense only - catch 5-10 yard passes with my dominant arm and going left only. I know, doesn't sound too impactful. And indeed, this was true. I made a marginal impact on the game.

Anyhow, that's besides the point. Clearly not real smart given the inherent risks. Apparently, that's the kind of decision making you can only obtain from an Ivy league education and b-school. Funny thing is that minimizing risk was my job in a former life, analyzing investment risk. Ah, the irony.

Luckily for me, I played through the game unscathed by further injury. The last time I do that. Never say never is the response to that. :)

Here's a non-sequiter, Yo Mamas has a very annoying, "XL & in charge" captain who's big mouth does not match his small game. He kind of reminds of one of the Jedi Knights from that Triumph the Insult Dog clip where he's berating the hardcore fans at a Star Wars premiere. Here's the video. Hilarious. Yes, totally random. Just had to point that out because I can never seem to beat his team (dating back to the 2005 RainBowl). Someday ...

Anyhow, the season is over and the stories shall continue... our big end of season banquet is this Friday and is being held at the captain's self-professed Love Shack. He also calls it his Dojo, akin to the den of the infamous Cobra Kai who terrorized Mr. Miyagi's Daniel-San.

Friday shall be an evening of indulgences, roasts, a little alcohol, serious rug cutting and possibly some debauchery. More to come; pics too!

Pride is Forever Advances!

Today was my flag football team's first playoff game against an unsightly foe, The Aristocrats, a team that had stuck it to us pretty badly in the regular season, 28-8. They a) not only beat us but also b) publicly humiliated our team on the league's website by saying that "Big time players step up in big time games!" A quote from their player of the game who was quoting Reggie Bush of all people. Yeah, slightly ridiculous and over-the-top.

Well, this afternoon, P.I.F. played big time in a 27-0 dismantling of The Bourgeois.

Small caveat: they did only have 7 players vs. our 8 but it still would have been a blowout nonetheless.

Everybody stepped up to play an all-around solid game, not a lot of mistakes:

Adam got Player of Game honors with his multiple TD's on O and D, Shan probably set a record of INTs and return yards in a game, Kellyn was tenacious on D (as usual) pass rushing like the late Reggie White and hauled in some nice outs, Maggie was like a Jack Russell Terrier terrorizing the opposing QB, Matt owned the skinny post all day long with some post catch wiggle, Debbie grabbed flags like it was her Biznass, Nicole hung tight in the curls, John put the lock down on his zone, and Johnny caught some key passes despite his groin injury.

At the end of the day, the good guys came out, put on a clinic, and we are yet one game closer to the branding of our fearless captain, Mike, with the team moniker, Pride is Forever.

Oh yes, it's going on his left derriere!

Belated Gracias to My Guardian Angels: Kellyn, Maggie, and Heather

When a little boy falls down and starts to cry, there’s always a mother to pick the little guy up, dust off his wound, and provide the proverbial kiss on the forehead. I’m not saying that’s what happened last Sunday but these ladies came to the rescue. It’s kind of ironic that none of the dudes thought anything was wrong; actually not ironic at all.

In my fallen state of shock, Kellyn and Maggie somehow sensed my faculties were not intact - I think my Casper the Friendly Ghost look AND loss of vision were strong indicators. Thank you ladies for making me lie down and hence, giving back my sight. Kind of important to me in the big scheme of things.

Upon regaining vision, Kellyn then drove me to the emergency room, got me into the ridiculous queue of waiting dumasses (e.g. one guy jumped off a fence and had a lead pipe go through his foot), and patiently hung out with mega-gimp until Heather arrived with a baggie of goodies. You know, like candy bars, bottled water, and mags (not the dirty kind). She’s kind of obligated to do that since she married me but nonetheless Heather did have the remarkable presence to bring me my latest read, Web Site Measurement Hacks. Yeah, I’m pretty cool.

One day ladies, I predict that you all will make a little boy feel very safe and happy that you're nearby to save the day. And lucky me, I was that kid for one afternoon. :)